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STRENGTH TEA

Writer's picture: T’s TruthT’s Truth

Being strong can be so overrated, right? Who wants to have to always be strong to deal with the situations that happen in life? Whether it be relational, career, familial, or life, working through devastating lows and unbelievable circumstances can be incredibly difficult. Having to do so and act as if you have it all together, especially if you have children adds a whole other level to it. But having the strength to deal with everyday life along with a few curve balls grows you mentally and emotionally. It allows you to see just how much you can handle and allows those around you to see that they can do it too!


Listen, I’ve had to divorce the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, watch my family move on with him and “the other woman”, know that my children have formed a relationship with her, and know that the family that I always thought I’d have, was never gonna be. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve had to be the bigger person, be the person who says ok and be agreeable for the sake of my children and to maintain a cordial relationship with their father. Talk about strength…. Whew chile…


But in the end grateful for the strength and grace I’ve been able to show. I am grateful that I didn’t become a vengeful, vindictive, bitter black woman, because number one, who wants to be all those things really? And number two, that’s not who I am at my core. I’ve been able to be an example to countless people who know and heard my story. I’ve been able to show my children that it’s better to be the bigger person in situations, because the blessings that flow from that are so much better than any feeling of vengeance could ever be. I get to say that yes, some horrible and humiliating things happened to me, but I didn’t allow that to change who I was. That takes STRENGTH my friends!


While I will never be thankful for the demise of my marriage and how it all went down, I will forever be grateful for the strength that I showed and continue to show that I never knew I had. I am forever grateful that I put all my trust in God and allowed Him to direct me and heal me. I will forever be humbled that He continues to use me and show me my worth every day! Even writing this blog is an example of strength. I am putting some major private business out for people to read and judge, but I know that I am responsible for telling my story to help others. Just tonight my brother called me to tell me how proud of me he was and how strong I am (thus this blog post, lol) and how much he can learn from me in how I handled my divorce and all that came with it and now with coparenting.


It’s a still struggle some days y’all, lol. If I’m honest, some days I still look and wonder how the hell I got here! This is not what my life was supposed to be like. I didn’t get married to get divorced. I didn’t deserve the way that everything went down. I never wanted my children to be split between me and their father, and I most certainly didn’t want to have another man around them. What I do know is that everything happens for a reason. I would be miserable if I stayed married to a man that had children outside of our marriage. I would be miserable if I didn’t allow myself to be open to receive love and to even give love to another person. I deserve to be happy. That takes STRENGTH! Recognizing what you deserve and taking the steps to get it shows major strength and courage. Because of the strength I found in myself, not only are my ex-husband and I able to coparent well, but I have also been able to meet an amazing man who adores me and my children, and we adore him in return. I have been able to accept and give love that I didn’t think I’d feel again. I’ve been able to move on with my life knowing that my future is bright and if I maintain the strength that I know I have within me and keep God first, I will WIN!


Continue to pray for strength to get you through whatever situation you’re facing. Continue to grow and learn from the experiences that hurt brings you. Work on understanding yourself and how you respond to situations and why. Allow the situations that cause you to show strength to grow and stretch you to be the best version of yourself you can be. You got this!

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